1. Don’t smoke cigarettes.

2. Drive old Japanese cars. Easy and cheap to fix and they run for a hundred fucking lifetimes. Although, I must admit, there’s nothing quite like an old V8 muscle car. But seriously, good old Jap-crap solves a lot of headaches.

3. Buy most of your groceries from the produce section. Most of that other shit isn’t actually food anyway. You can easily live without it.

4. Ride a bike instead of driving as often as you can.

5. Op-shops and thrift stores can score you some pretty cool clothes. Jeans, shirts, tees and jackets. Ride that bike around, and you’ll be looking so ripped, it won’t matter what you wear anyway.

6. Learn to fix things. With Google and YouTube, you can learn to fix anything. Or ask an old timer. Once upon a time, instead of simply replacing things, it was normal to fix whatever was ever broken. I’m not shitting you.

7. Learn a trade. Something that they can’t fucking outsource. No one gives a shit about your masters in Dostoyevsky or your Call of Duty prowess. Fix something, dumbasses.

8. If you like drinking alcohol, stay at home and drink with your friends…of with your neighbours. Bars are mostly full of jack-offs, cabs are a rip-off and drink-driving is reserved for assholes (even if it’s an old Japanese car).

9. Do people favours. Somehow, it all comes back your way. No shit. Try it.

10. Make things. Anything. Pick anything, and make the same thing better. People want good handmade shit. You can make good dough.

11. Find work you love. Or find work, where you love the people. This is an important one.

12. Avoid junkies and addicts like the plague. They’ll fuck your life up any chance they can get.

13. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Fuck credit cards.

14. Fancy dates are never fancy. Neither are the women that demand them.

15. People spend millions and millions of dollars every day buying plastic bottles filled with shit tap water called Coca Cola. Don’t be a fucking clown.

16. Never lose your cool. Ever.

17. Ignore the haters. It drives them over the edge and close to suicide.

18. Dream a lot. And believe.

19. Fear is normal. Fear of human beings and/or the “system” is not.


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